It's been way too long since I tattled, Kitties, and the backlog of material choices makes my mind reel. But let's start with the present.
The geriatrics seem incapable of doing their business in over-sized litter boxes. Willie can't get his poop in the box, and Bianca can't get her pee in the box. Consequently, Mosaic Lady has to wash at least a box a day and she keeps garbage liners all over the back porch floor to catch the disgusting bodily ickies. (No offense, Harold.)
You all know that ML is nothing if not lazy (if she cleaned her own litter box 1/10th as often as she cleans ours....just sayin'.) She finally got back online and renewed her quest for a better litter box with high walls. She came upon the Omega Paw Self Cleaning Rollaway. It's very boring so if you are interested you can google it or find it on eBay. The self cleaning promise is dubious, but she really wanted the enclosed part so that all the flying pee and poo would end up in there.
Here I am, immediately entering the very first box she put out. I promptly peed in it. ML was doing the happy, oh-so-pleased-with-herself dance, saying: "Oh Annie, you are so perfect, adaptable, and flexible!" (I might have misremembered the perfect part.)
And then I climbed right into the old box to poop. ML felt like the idiot she is.
She had forgotten that I poo standing up! Now, she never would've known this but for the fact that it has been over THREE WEEKS since I was allowed outside to roam free, where I prefer to have my toilet time, as Bast intended.
I am now confined to the back yard enclosure for life because some persons are so neurotic they can not seem to breathe when I am outside the cage. I am being punished and deprived of my rightful role because I am a scrappy and tenacious fighter who serves up many cans of whoop ass to interloper toms who mistakenly think they are entitled to my territory.
Mosaic Lady may be a misogynist.
Hey Mosaic Dawg!
How many steps did it take for Mosaic Lady to assemble the box in Four Easy Steps?
Take my best guess and multiply it by six?
So here is the new potty palace as of today.
(Oh. I think I forgot to say that my Godmother underwrote the renovations. I think I forgot to tell her, too. Thanks Godmother!!)
While we're in the laundry room tattling and thanking my Godmother, you can also thank her for ML's newfound love of Ketel One Vodka Citroen with diet tonic and Perrier. And also for the Marlborough Sauvignon Blanc.
She has nothing to do, however, with the 1.5 liters of cheap Chilean Rose.
All four of us have used the Omegas and so far nothing disgusting has escaped from the insides.
ML is feeling so accomplished in tackling this most harrowing project (that she dragged out for months, as is her style), that she is now applying her problem solving skill(lessness) to the raging War on Fleaism in our house and in our furs.
As my favorite blogger, Andrew Sullivan says: