Tumor Tuesday: Cats Rule, Dogs Poo! - by Bianca

Ho' Boy what a day! The Mosaic Lady hoped to spend her Fire the Grid morning in a mystical, contemplative reverie but pre-dawn found her cleaning up a doggie dookie AND a doggie pukie! Leah did a Twofer Tuesday for Mosaic Lady. BOGO! (Barf One, Get One!) ML even let Leah out at 3:30am when she got up to use her own litter box in hopes of avoiding the huge pile of liquid doggie dookie that Leah has deposited on the living room carpet every night since Saturday. This morning there was some blood too. Can our non-refundable, $150/pet deposit re-carpet the house, ML wonders?

Mosaic Lady had Leah at the fur doctor's by 7:30 and by 7:45 the dawg was wearing a muzzle for the first time in her whole 9 years! Mosaic Lady loves our new fur doctor but the four-leggeds in the fam don't use those two words together in a sentence -- ever. Oxymoronic and moronic. After sitting relatively quietly for the first two bungled attempts to get a heat reading out of her ass, the dawg drew the line at the third attempt and got a little snippy, let's just say, with the nice fur tech. More snippy fun when the fur doctor came in and tried to touch her. It ended up neat for Mosaic Lady, however, because they made her walk Leah back to her kennel herself.

ML got to meet 3 cats and 3 dogs that the fur doctor adopted from people who were bored with them. They live back there in the boarding area full-time. (In addition to the 4 dogs and 4 cats they keep in their house next door.) He's so nice. He told ML the story of each pet...diabetic cat, deaf and blind dog, 21-year-old dog, "family wanted him put down for no reason" Bramble kitty... Mosaic Lady fell in love with two long-haired cats, of course, and started her OCD wheels rolling on how to bring Bramble or Monty, the Rag Doll, home. I feel sad that those kitties never see the sun all day, but all in all, they have it good, considering the options. Fortunately, none of them are good fits for our family after all. We're still afraid that stray Meezer is ours, so back away from the adoptable cats, Mosaic Lady! Especially the ones that have the good fortune misfortune to be adopted by a fur doctor. Even if the cats do sleep in cages and play on concrete floors all day.

The dawg did well in surgery and the fur doctor is optimistic about the growth on her paw for a few reasons. Five days or more for the lab results. Ever the fatalist, ML is sure it's cancer and has spread to the dawg's innards, thus the recent dooking at night in the house with blood. (The dawg has many faults, but dooking in the house is NOT one of them. I'm waiting for it to dawn on ML that it might could be the Previcox. Shhhhhh. Let's toy with her a bit longer.) The funniest part of the whole day (unless you're Leah) was when they were leaving the fur office and Mosaic Lady was trying to get a lead on local Meezer rescue, gabbing and yakking and blathering as she does with the front office ladies...she heard the sound of flowing liquid behind her. She turned to see the dawg dropping a HUGE watery dookie full of blood right by the door. STANKY! The dawg got the last word after all.

Mosaic Lady took a photo of the ugly little tumor spot, but I refuse to post it. SKANKY. Willie and I don't ever let the dog touch us, but for some pathological reason, Willie likes to lay down near the dawg a lot. Walter and Sadie let the dawg touch them and Walter used to let the dawg dry hump him! (Not like he enjoyed it really or had a choice since the dog outweighed Walter by at least three pounds.) Walter and Sadie have weak personal boundaries.

Anyway, between my hyperthyroid/non-stop puking challenges and recent pee infection (third since last Fall and counting!); Leah's tumor, arthritis, and inside dookie wars; and the impending detente** drama with the stray Meezer -- Mosaic Lady is grateful for wine, Direct Tee Vee, and all of our new cat blogging friends. You make her smile and you help her feel connected to something very big and very good and very furry. And she's starting to work on her mosaics again, which allows us to nap undisturbed for longer stretches. She can be needy when she's depressed.

**Détente - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Détente is a French term, meaning a relaxing or easing of the bowels to go poop; the term has been used in international politics since the early 1970s. ...

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Good one, Bianca!
- Willie