Our (so-called) "employer"

Our (so-called) "employer"

Thursday, December 20, 2007

T13 - Beach Bound, by Mosaic Dawg

Well, Kitties, we leave on Saturday morning, bound for the South Carolina beach for a week. We have rented an SUV (Mosaic Lady is hoping for a new Explorer!) and her OCD is at full throttle.
Despite what Annie claims about ML's alleged laziness, she is also highly efficient and super-organized. And Victor -- she is a VERY GOOD driver! No tickets or accidents since she was in her teens, when the earth was born.

We recently received an email newsletter from Cindy Smith, an animal communicator that Mosaic Lady consulted after Walter died. I will share her advice for holiday traveling:

If you are traveling for the holidays, it's very important to let your animals know what's about to happen. They sense your excitement as you begin to pack. The sight of suitcases often reminds them of being left behind at other times. Simply explain to them what the plan is. You can do this silently or out loud.

If you are taking your animal with you, do the same for them. Explain where you are going and how you'd like them to act.

13 Ways I would like Mosaic Cats to act:

1) Do NOT hide under furniture when it's time to go on Saturday morning and make ML break a frantic sweat when trying to jam all four of you into your PTUs.

2) Do NOT caterwaul all the way down to SC (that was a waste of breath.)

3) Do NOT pee or poo in your PTUs, especially if you are seated next to me.

4) If you must puke when we are there, do NOT do it on the beautiful furniture.

5) If you must miss your litter box when peeing or pooing, at least get close to it and do NOT walk in it and track it across the beautiful floors.

6) DO NOT SHRED THE BEAUTIFUL FURNITURE WITH YOUR CLAWS.

7) Do NOT take your cabin fever aggression out on each other (Annie).

8) If you are lucky enough to leave the guest house on a harness, do NOT try to squirm out of it and run away. (Annie).

9) Do NOT bat all of your new Christmas mice under the kitchen appliances and expect ML to fetch them out like at home. She will not. They will live there forever and you will have no new mice to bring back to North Carolina with you (Annie).

10) NO blog hogging (the cat whose name begins with "A").

11) Do NOT jump up on shelves and knock things over; shred kleenex or toilet paper; take the covers off of floor vents; open kitchen cupboards and climb inside; bang kitchen cupboard doors; tap dance on ML's last nerve for sport. (Guess who?)

12) Willie, do NOT bogart my bed like you do at home.

13) Bianca, do NOT pee in my bed like you do at home.

14) Bonus #14: Do not get in between me and my godbrother, Zeke, because I never know
when the urge to bite his butt might strike me.


Wish me luck, Kitties. This is the first time we've gone on a long ride together since we moved here from Colorado a year ago. I still suffer from PTSD from spending days in the Explorer with Willie and Bianca as we were towed behind the moving truck.

(Big thanks to the Zoolatry human for the darling photo art.)

18 comments:

Mickey said...

Mosaic Lady.....BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
You are mighty funny today;)
#11 is very funny,heehee and I see by the picture of kitties on the beach that thet feel the sme way about your desires for Cat Behavior,namely, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Purrs Mickey

PeeEss: Tillie says"Go Annie :)"

Diamond Emerald-Eyes said...

Dear Annie:

Do not listen to anything Mosiac Dawg says. He is just a fool woofie and doesn't know anythig anyway.

Carry on and have a Merry Catsmouse!

HRH Yao-Lin said...

Good luck everyone! I hope you all have fun. I think this Thursday Thirteen is brilliant - I reckon you will do all of those things and more. Your human just needs to console herself in the thought that you will probably never need to go long distance again because you will never be invited anywhere again! Trash the house and the beautiful furniture! Yay! He he xx

Samantha & Tigger said...

We hope you have well behaved kitties and woofies on your trip to the beach and while you are in South Carolina! And that there are no accidents and no destruction!! (And if you think that will happen, I have a prime piece of Florida swap land you can buy real cheap!! heheheh) We would like to wish all of you at Mosaic Cats a blessed Merry Christmas and a Prosperous 2008!!
Your FL furiends,

Victor Tabbycat said...

Leah, you are a furry well-spoken woofie! Fanks fur the reassurance. I *like* car rides, kinda. Is that weird?

PS Mom says Laura should bring sum valley-um. Fur after the drive.

Sadie, you'll be just fine! Yur name don't start wif A! Purrs an Nosekisses!

Maggy & Zoey said...

Poor Annie, always getting the brunt of it all... we are thinking after reading this list of rules and regulations, that this may be an ill-advised trip. The R&R which used to be Rest & Relaxation has succumbed to Ridiculous Rules and Rigid Regulations. But have fun anyway... if you can, or perhaps ML is not allowing that either!

Maggy & Zoey said...

PS
Note to ML: did you know that today is Thursday (hence the Thursday Thirteen)... it is NOT Wednesday. If you don't get this straightened out... you'll be leaving on Sunday morning...

Maggy & Zoey said...

PS PS Correction
Now the Zoolatry Human is confused:
You'll be leaving on Friday...
right?

Kaze, Latte, & Chase said...

Good luck and happy travels! I love the PTU and car rides. Well, not to the vet but I do like rides in the car.

Chase

Dragonheart said...

I hope you all have a safe and enjoyable trip! Happy Holidays! :)

Daisy said...

Those seem like some reasonable expectations. I guess you can follow one or two of the rules. I think the rest were made to be broken. Like the exception that proves the rule. Right?

Kellie The Orange Cat said...

Ha, ha, ha......I like this T13, Mosaic Dawg did a good job!

My Mum says ML is a far braver person than she is, driving to another State with a dog and 4 cats. At least I'm sure it will be interesting - which will make for many good blog stories! We look forward to that.

ML (Mary Lynn) said...

This gave me a good laugh, something I really needed.
ML (Mary Lynn)

Parker said...

Safe travels! I bet you have a wonderful time at the beach!

Sunny's Mommy said...

HA! Good luck with that list :-p

Love the graphic work. Really funny :-D

Tybalt said...

Good Luck!

Wow. A lot of those were aimed at Annie. I wonder why. *grin*

Cheysuli and gemini said...

There were an awful lot of "nots". I do hope that your cats are not like me and are unable to hear "not"...

C.

Zippy, Sadie and Speedy said...

Heh, tell ML dat she need lots of chocolate and wine when she gets there, while she's there, when she gets home. And fur gosh sakes, have some fun!